Gratitude is in the Attitude

I am grateful my husband didn’t get around to cleaning up the yard on the weekend, because it means he spent quality time with our son on his school project.

I am thankful for the floor that needs sweeping, the bathrooms that need cleaning and the switch that needs fixing, because it means I have a home.

I am grateful for finding the only parking spot at the far end of the car park, because it means I am able to walk.

I am thankful for the clothes that sometimes feel a little tighter around my waist, because it means I have enough to eat.

I am grateful for the huge electricity, telephone and car registration bills I have paid this week, because it means I am wealthy enough to afford these luxuries.

I am thankful for my children bickering with each other and complaining about household chores, because it means I have a healthy, normal family (and perfect hearing!)

I am grateful to clean up the weekend bomb-site on a Sunday night, because it means I have been surrounded by family and friends.

I am thankful that my back played up horrendously early in the week, because it was a reminder for me to look after myself.

I am grateful for the weariness and an aching body at the end of a big week, because it means I am capable of working hard.

I am thankful my family leaves their laundry wherever they take it off, because it means they have clothes to wear.

I am grateful that I was spoken to badly, as it taught me how to take a positive lesson from every situation.

I am thankful that I ended up getting to bed much later than planned last night, because it meant spending a couple of hours with my husband...uninterrupted.

I am grateful that the alarm clock goes off early, tearing me from my slumber, because it means that I am alive!

I am thankful that I sometimes have to push myself to get this blog done on time, because it means I get to share my beautiful life with you.

suzy x

Believe To Receive

It is natural for us to dream about what we want in our lives...happiness, a fulfilling career, love, great friends, a nice home, health and so on.

There is a difference between daydreaming and Positive Visualization. When we daydream, we are usually looking at a blurry movie in our mind, where we are in the third person in the future or the past. When we use Positive Visualization we are in the Present. We use our imagination, emotions and our senses; imagining the sounds, smells, touch and joyful feelings of how it would “feel” to have what we want.

We can all visualize, but we are not all aware of the power of visualization.

Using Visualization will actually move us from negative thinking to positive thinking. When we see ourselves happy and in positive situations we realize that we are happy and in positive situations, the more we visualize positive things the more positive your life will become. If we focus on the negative...well, it has the same affect. We notice all the negative things around us.

If we can’t do something, can’t be something, can’t have something, we project this all around ourselves. If we use Positive Visualization, for anything, say having a great and successful day at work...it will more than likely happen...sometimes it will take longer than others and it is up to you how often you practice Visualization, how much you put into it, to feel it, believe it.

This is nothing new, it has been used by sports coaches when training athletes, doctors when patients are healing, businesses when training employees and students when approaching exams. It has been studied, written about, and there are many techniques.

Avoid at all costs what you don’t want in your life! Avoid playing your greatest fears over and over in your mind. Focus on what you do want, what you do want to be doing, what you do want to enjoy. Feel the joy from the images.

Visualization techniques can be applied to many areas of your life. Visualizing a clear image and combining it with a strong positive emotional response will help you manifest your beautiful life.

suzy x

Yoga. Just Do It

As some of you know Beautiful Life has started holding Mother & Daughter Yoga classes here in Mermaid Beach.

This came about from a conversation Regina and I had about how much we enjoyed and what we “got” from Yoga, and how wonderful it would be to share it with our daughters. We were so excited by the idea that right there we decided to start up our own classes. We went out and found wonderful teachers, a great space and off we went.

I love the hour I get to spend with my daughter sharing the joys of Yoga. I feel I am giving her a base for a great positive self image, subtle lessons in breath and posture and some wonderful tools for dealing with life; she is learning techniques for self health, relaxation and inner fulfillment. It enhances her flexibility, strength, coordination and body awareness. It improves her concentration, sense of calmness and allows her to connect with her inner self. She is able to be a part of a physical activity that is non competitive, fostering cooperation and compassion instead off opposition.
Yoga brings out the beautiful inner light that all children have and it is a gift to give her.

Not to mention that we get to spend time with like-minded people and great role models. When you spend time with a community of people that hold the same values and hopes, it dissolves the feeling of separateness we get in the over stimulated, exhaustive world we all live in, us and our children. A group like this practicing together creates an amazing field of energy! It’s also just fun and relaxed. One of our mums said to me, “My daughter may stop doing Yoga at times in her life but she will always come back to it...and she will always be able to say, I have practiced Yoga since I was very young, I used to do it with my mother.”

With this in mind I am hoping to start up new classes of Family Yoga as soon as our Mother & Daughter classes are running smoothly, we have only just had our first month of classes. Family Yoga for all variations of family members, parents, children, grandparents, aunts or cousins!

Anyway, if you are not doing Yoga, thinking about Yoga, want to know more about Yoga, need to get back to Yoga, or love Yoga so much you can’t hear enough about it:
Here is my List of REASONS TO DO YOGA:

1. POSITIVE ATTITUDE Having Yoga in your life helps you face life’s daily challenges with positive energy in your heart. We can become more effective at problem solving as we act less emotionally and reactively to problems. When we practice Yoga we become clear in what we want and manifest our deepest desires. When we treat ourselves with more respect we treat others with more respect also. Trust, acceptance and gratitude are bi-products of self respect and we live with fewer expectations and judgments. Yoga makes us shine from the inside out: you will walk taller, with grace and a positive outlook. You will become more popular; people love to be around you when you are calm, balanced, serene and uplifted from your Yoga buzz!


2. HEALTH Yoga relaxes you and holistically addresses the body’s physical and subconscious needs. It can improve the immune system. Yoga is a powerful cleanser of our mind, body and spirit. It helps manage physical, mental and emotional signs of stress. Many Yoga poses detoxify the body. It cleans and massages your organs; releases feel good and immune boosting hormones, strengthens bones and muscles. As we heal ourselves, we can heal others, with our words, actions and smile!

3. JOYFUL LIVING Happiness does not depend on what we have- but who we are....When we do Yoga we realize we don’t need a reason to be happy, we just are. Yoga increases Mindfulness, as you become more in tune with your self inside and out. Life becomes relaxed and more fun!

Yoga is too fabulous, really it is TOO fabulous. And I am not talking about the transformed, over marketed, go hard, trendy version of a work out class. I am talking about the authentic Yoga, the real deal, where you don’t have to make your body suffer to feel the benefits. Where you are aware of what your body can do...and can’t...and that is enough.

All this talk of Yoga makes me want to practice more often, get myself a nice little set of poses I can do at home before bed, do with the kids instead of watching TV, enjoy and have fun with, and bring it into my beautiful life more and more!

suzy x

Love Me Do

Regina’s piece last week on Self Worth really hit a chord with a lot of people. I had conversations with people before the blog went up, who have situations where their self worth is really taking a battering.

This all got me thinking, reading, researching.

Self Esteem
Self Worth
Self Regard
Self Respect
Self Integrity

SELF LOVE

Self Love does not mean we are one of those who comes across as self obsessed or self centered. Self love is a courageous mental shift, of inner understanding. When we have true love for ourselves, we can spread it around; we cannot possibly offer genuine love to others, if we don’t see ourselves as a source of love. This is not only in our relationships, but in our deeds and actions to anyone in our community.

Write it Down:
We all have them, those broken records, those little nagging criticisms. We’ve been listening to these messages for so long now, we often don’t even hear them. But they do have their impact on our self worth. Write it down, separate it from your mind, see it on a piece of paper, and say to yourself, there I don’t need to carry that around anymore, I can leave it on that piece of paper. Remind yourself when you hear that whisper (or loud scream) to change the mental CD, or skip to a positive one, we don’t have to put up with “broken records” anymore!

Counteract the Above:
For every negative thought, find a response that counteracts it. Make it as loving, kind and positive as possible.

Ask Yourself:
Is this just that, an old thought pattern? Is it of any use to me anymore? Do the facts of my life still support this thought? Why am I letting this recur? Remind yourself you no longer need this.

What is your Mood:
How are you feeling when you have these thoughts. If you were feeling happier, well, energetic would you see the situation the same way?

The Source:
Where did I get this thought? Most things go way back, to very early relationships, traumas, coping mechanisms. So is it effective or useful anymore?
If you do know the source, reassure that little kid, teen or young adult, that smaller You. Tell them they did nothing wrong, and you are here to protect and love them now.

Make Lists:
Make a list of what you like about yourself. Modesty does not help here, nor do old criticisms. Praise for yourself is healing, and it nourishes your self worth. If you find this difficult to do, think about what you love and admire in others. Do you have those same traits, usually you do.

Make a list of compliments from others. When someone pays you a compliment or comments in a positive way about you, make a note. (Physically, like get yourself a notebook for all these notes!) This is not a replacement for your own self love, but a step towards learning to have self love. Sometimes we may need to hear it from others (and be able to read it again!) so that we can value it in ourselves. (Really get a notebook, so you can re-read all the lovely things you and others think of you, great for those days that are bummers!)

Make a list (in that new gorgeous little notebook of yours) of something you achieve, or are proud of. You can update it every day or every week, make note of these things.

Read Your New Notebook Whenever You Need a Pick up!

Give Yourself an Affirmation of Loving-kindness.
Find one that works for you. You can Google it!
I AM KIND, COMPASSIONATE, INTELLIGENT AND WISE (or use whatever words you like). Repeat this as often as you can, stick them up everywhere, or if you don’t feel comfortable with that put little notes where you will find them; in the pocket of a pair of jeans, your wallet, and the biscuit tin! Repeating is the key, a lesson we should all know by that old broken record.
A really tough one can be to look at yourself in the mirror, look deeply into your eyes, and tell You...I Love You. See the compassion, the kindness and tell yourself again.
A thing I do when I am getting a treatment on my back, is when I am lying on the table I go deep in and tell myself “I love you, I want you to feel good, I will take care of you.”

Another thing that comes to mind is a little joke my husband and I have. If one of us speaks a bit harsher than we should, the other says, “Would you speak to your best friend like that?” (In a funny jokey voice- but it works, puts it into perspective!) Maybe we need to ask ourselves that, would we tell a friend the things we tell ourselves. Talk to others like we do ourselves?


Life holds no grudges against us, it always forgives us. Does our vision of love exclude ourselves? We accept our loved ones for “who they are”; can we allow ourselves the same? When having a negative thought ask "Is this kind?" Paying attention to our (supposed) faults and flaws, being tough on ourselves does not bring change, does not make us happier. Negative, hurtful thoughts and self criticism hold back the free flow of harmony in our lives.
Encourage strengths and positives.

Think of a loved one: partner, friend or family. Close your eyes, think of everything you love about this person, how they make you feel, what you admire in them. Now imagine yourself to be that person, and how that person sees you, what they love about you, how you make them feel, what they admire in you. Imagine them feeling all the compassion and love they have for you, and the happiness you bring them. Feel their compassion and love and own it.

suzy x

Living in a Material World

I have come to a tough realization, I have been pushing it away for years...I have at times meant to do something about it, I have beat myself up about it, and I have yelled at my kids about it.

My kids are greedy.

But you know what; this is completely normal. Doesn’t mean I have to like it though...and definitely means I’m going to try really hard to make a change.

How can they not be greedy??

Attractive window displays, bright packaging, weekly catalogues in our mailbox. Slick advertising aimed directly at them, newer and better fascinating toys. Christmas decorations in the shops in August. Easter Eggs in January!

And us parents rewarding good behaviour, and also bribing, buying ourselves some quiet, filling voids left by work and general busyness and alleviating our guilt over anything...with stuff.

We give them everything they want. We just want them to be happy. We want them to have what we didn’t. We want to be able to “treat” them. We want them to feel satisfied.

When you look at your child, you look in a mirror- you shape their values. Uh oh, does that mean they get it from me??

As my kids get older it becomes more and more obvious that they have been conditioned to think that they don’t have enough, they need more! To be happy they need more, but they will never have enough, there will never be enough.

They collect things, and they always need another one, another figurine, another book, but the having of the something never matches the initial drive of desiring the something...one of my kids does not so much as play with the collections as just loves having them.

I look at all the phases my children have been through, a box full of Ponies, another full of Cars...all things they have grown out of and can even hold embarrassment for owning them !
I was thinking about selling them on E-bay, so they could get more money to buy more things...then I realized that needs a re-think!

We have a system of handing down our clothes to a couple of families we know with younger kids. We need to start a new system of pulling out all the hand me down toys, and getting them to choose a charity or hospital where other children will get to enjoy them.
I am going to limit the amount of things they can own, or purchase, and once this has been reached, they can donate some of their older stuff.
Hopefully it will also teach them not to become too attached to material goods...hard when their mother has a habit of getting sentimental about things, and has been known to hold onto stuff for a bit too long!.


They do not know the joy of wanting something for a long time and then finally getting it, as we did in our childhoods. They don’t have to think about a toy for months, waiting for Christmas or birthdays, doing jobs around the house to save up...because at some point before then, they will probably end up with most things that their heart has once desired.

I am trying to figure out ways to teach my children that they can only find happiness from within, not from owning an object. I worry that this materialistic outlook is spiritually scarring them, when instead they need spiritual nourishment.

I want my children to value themselves for who they are, and what their actions are, rather than what they own. I want them to understand that contentment is a training of the heart. I want to equip myself and my children to be able to say no to “things” and not feel bad about it. I want them to know that having the most Collector Cards at school does not make them cool. That owning the latest Video Game does not get them a best friend.
I want my family to understand that we have enough things.

I need to stop rewarding their good behaviour with something bought. I need to find other incentives, like having a friend for a sleep- over, watching a special TV show, spending quality time with them and letting them choose an activity that we never find time for.

I need to realize that getting them a little something every time we go to the shops has desensitized them to the actual meaning of “treat”.

I need to realize that I am not a mean parent because my child is not getting an I Pod for his 5th birthday, broadband connected to her cubby house, or 70 inch Plasmas in their bedrooms. My husband and I should not work longer hours so they can wear the most expensive sneakers being worn.

Time is more important than money, I cannot buy love. My children will not become more socially apt, gifted or happier because of what they own.

When I think about all the things my children have nagged for, and needed desperately, or even I felt they needed desperately...none of it made them “happier”.
Not like when we all go to the beach, or have a tickle war on the couch, or sit down for dinner together and talk.
None of it.

I once read a tip on a parenting blog. Tell your children a white-lie, tell them that you are now a poor family, and the only hope of getting what they want is to get good marks at school and to behave well, and hopefully Santa will bring it at Christmas time...not such a bad idea!


Maybe it is not just our children who need to stop this un-mindful consumption, and start practicing mindful consuming.

I wonder why when we compare what we have with others, we always compare up? Would it not put things in more perspective if we compared down? Rather than our friends with the new amazing fan dangled what ever it is, try comparing what your family has with one in say Afghanistan, Zimbabwe or rural China.

And suddenly you will see how much we have in our beautiful lives.

suzy x

Karma Farmer

For the last couple of weeks I have struggled with my mindfulness and happiness.

I have been spending time with a friend who has had health issues and is in need. Friends have had fall outs with each other. I had another bout with the dreaded fatigue.
All of this has seeped into my life in a negative energy kind of way, and left me feeling flat and exhausted.

When things get on top of you, or all come at once, it is hard to tread the water and keep your head above!

I have had to go back over all my tools, re-reading certain posts from this blog, and my favorite books, to bring myself back to where I need to be.

It is easy to let sneaky negative influences creep in when all seems to be problematic. The Buddhists believe there are no problems, just situations. I am trying to focus on solutions for situations rather than the problems I first saw, because as we all know, focusing on something will just make it bigger and stronger. And there is always a solution...or there could be no problems!

I have moved away from concentrating on what is upsetting my friends or myself and really started thinking about how I can deal with the situation, without getting too emotionally involved, because if I do that and gather the negative energy, I am of no help to anyone.

I have come up with solutions that I can use, and this has left me feeling positive and active. I may not be able to solve a whole situation, but I can certainly start improvements.

So I re-read, used the tools, caught some sunlight whenever I could, rested, meditated, cleared my mind...it has been going 100 miles a millisecond with all of this. LOADS of junk mail! It has been quite a job to keep reminding myself that it is just junk mail and that I am telling myself stories when I imagine; this is happening because...or someone meant that when they said...or they must think this...all just made up stories.

When we get angry, upset or negative we want to change the external, we want someone to behave differently, or say something else, or see things our way. But it is the internal we need to concentrate on, only we can let ourselves feel negative, upset or angry with a situation. We can only change the internal. We can only really be happy when we are aware of the internal. When we feel anger, but can accept it, and make a choice not to act negatively on it, we are empowering ourselves. We have made a positive choice.

So all this was going on when I came across this Chinese saying about Karma;

If you plant melons, you will harvest melons. If you plant beans, you will harvest beans.

How true, how simple. It gave me an idea for a new tool. Karma Farming!
What if every time I planted a seed of good karma (a positive action), I actually visualize a little paddock marked say COMPASSION and I planted a little seed.

So I set up my imaginary farm. I have paddocks for all the good qualities that I deem important. I even have a paddock for each of my children; every time I am patient or kind (when feeling frazzled!) off I go to the little paddock and plant the seed. Very soon I will have many crops! And I will be repaid in the same way; I will sow my reward...because that’s how Karma works.

And it is fun! My farm is in a sweet little valley and the paddocks have charming wooden fences with arches over the gates with the name of each quality that I am sowing. I am taking great care...I’m a Karma Farmer!

suzy x

The Car Park Thief

Last week I wrote about my list of things that make me smile. But hey, I know it’s not all good times, light and happiness!

In this day and age we are surrounded by anger. We are bombarded by the media; road rage, car park rage, even shopping trolley rage. We yell abuse, give the finger and shout *beep* you at anyone and every one who annoys us.

The world is an angry place, and perhaps becoming angrier. We believe we are permitted to be angry and this allows us to find even more to be angry about. Why? Who said this was ok? Deep down we know it’s not ok.

A few years ago, I was stomping around as angry as every one else, if you irritated me then *beep* you too! At the time I was seeing a natural practitioner for my fatigue and pain, and saying “I’m soo angry...and I don’t know why, I actually have no reason to be”. So why?

I don’t know why, maybe because it is being thrust at us as an acceptable practice. Maybe because I hadn’t figured out there was an easier way to be. I think back and try and work out where my anger went, I don’t know, but I do know that since I have practiced mindfulness and chosen happiness my anger has reduced greatly.

Anger is like jealousy, both horrible emotions that leave you feeling terrible and knotted up inside. Aggression, rage, self focused and self righteous. Criticizing someone’s sense of identity, ruining someone’s happiness. It is difficult to be around angry people; it is unpleasant to be an angry person. Negative emotions rob you of your peace and happiness.

I read that when feeling anger, take a moment to ask what is it that you need right now? Sort out yourself, and then look at the situation. I used this last week in a car park. I had the kids in the car, waiting patiently for a car to back out of its space, when I hear a toot. Some lady had pulled up behind the exiting car and was gesturing at me with a very self satisfied smile that the park was hers (it wasn’t. I was there first!) The car backed out in such a way that she could zip straight in.

The old me may have pulled over and questioned her (not sure if that’s the right term!) on this. The new me still struggled with my emotions, grrrr, that look on her face, who did she think she was, grrr, I could go and kick her car (not really, but a satisfying thought!).

The kids started picking up on my anger, I thought to myself; what do I need right now...a car park...and I will find one in the next few minutes so I’ve just got to drive off and find one, and I did...left that lady behind, left the anger behind, and got on with my day.

I also use this method with my children. It’s bedtime and the routine starts; can I have a drink, a piece of apple, one more hug. I can feel very angry as I just want to relax and have some time to myself, or I can look at the situation; what do I need.
I need those two to get to sleep! I can yell, rant, threaten and it will leave us all a little worse for wear. Or I can do what needs to be done, whether it is another hug, some apple, and then firmly reminding them it is bedtime. It’s quicker and it doesn’t leave us all feeling drained.
It is my choice though, how I react, and I have to be aware of this. It doesn’t mean I don’t find it annoying, but I choose my response.

It’s like everything. You can choose anger, you can choose to jump up on your high horse, get mad, plan to get even, hold grudges, and choose to hold onto all the bitterness, pain and every yukky emotion that goes with being angry.
Or you can choose to not.

You can choose to be happy instead of “right”. You can choose to forgive. You can choose to figure out why you are angry, what do you need to sort it out for you.
You can choose how to respond to your emotions, you can choose the impact that another’s act will have on you.
You can choose to take control of your thoughts, and not allow yourself to get caught up in a negative situation.
You can know what your triggers are, kids refusing to stay in bed, that person from work pushing your buttons, partner not listening, a friend’s thoughtless remark...and react differently to the triggers, take a deep breathe, acknowledge, and find an alternative way to respond.

Friends, family members, partners, work colleagues, our children. All are capable of making us feel angry.
Imagine if we all made a conscious choice for our peace and happiness.
Imagine if we all treated each other and ourselves with understanding and empathy.

So, next time you feel ready to lose your cool over a car park... Think again, choose a beautiful life!

suzy x

Moments in the Moment

Moments That Made Me Smile This Week.

Mindfulness is basically a quality of mind that can strengthen our awareness of the causes and conditions determining this present moment, and our awareness of how we are relating to these causes and conditions.
So if we are aware of why/how things are and we can be aware of how we feel/deal with this, we can be in a pretty good place.

This last week, I started a list in my notebook of moments that make me smile...it’s a long list, and I wont submit you to all of it, but here are a few, to be remindful that each moment is what we make of it!

Hanging out washing on a sunny, breezy Monday morning.
Really enough said, how can you not enjoy getting the weekends washing done in conditions like that!

Having my little sister living near us.
Regina’s daughter is a lot younger than me, in fact not that much older than my own children.
Sadly for us neither my husband’s, nor my family live nearby and I have always been envious of those who are lucky enough to have this. I have always missed being able to see my family more often.
Family is an amazing resource, and I’m not just talking about free babysitting! To see our children with other people on hand to turn to and have a close loving relationship is wonderful. I especially love watching the amazing rapport growing between these three young people. My children have a magnificent role model in this lovely young girl, and we are blessed.
Be grateful if you have your family nearby. Don’t take for granted the diversity of relationships you can all enjoy. Not everyone is in this fortunate position.

Kitchen Dancing.
This is one of my great joys, it makes my children sometimes laugh, sometimes cringe. My husband and I even compete to out geek each other! When I do it on my own, it is bliss, and can transform into a one woman cabaret show. One of the great things about getting older is that you become quite the expert at this particular style...why is that?
So, Dance like you are alone...in your own kitchen!

Dining In instead of Out.
The other evening my plans changed, as often happens when one has children. I had planned to go out for dinner with a friend. Instead of being disappointed when this changed I made a huge delicious curry, my husband lit a fire, and my friend and her children came over. Sitting around the warmth of the flames, watching them lick at the wood, the children squealing in delight toasting marshmallows, my little girl loving the smell of burning wood – she told us it reminded her of camping. Who needs restaurants?

Sharing a Green Tea with a friend.
Sunlight, conversation, silence...Pleasure.

My Weed.
Not what you think! The other day, I was sitting in my back yard when I noticed quite a large weed had grown up out of the concrete on the edge of our rendered house. I got up to pull it out and as I came closer, I couldn’t help but think of how against all odds, this little guy had risen to the challenge, and did just what it was that he needed to do. There he was basking in the sunlight, and looking quite lovely. Needless to say he is still there and makes me smile every time I look over at him, reminding me to just be me.

My kids have been off school.
A little bit sick, a little bit exhausted. Instead of letting this ruin my routine of chores, we have broken the day up with other things we can do; making sock puppets out of hand-me-downs, teaching the kids to sew button eyes on, and then getting back to my stuff, while they play with them for hours.
We redecorated their upstairs area, giving them heaps of enjoyment, moving furniture around, being creative. (and I got to get in a good clean up!) Kids are such a great example of impermanence and mindfulness. Everything changes, moments are just moments.
I also smiled when they went back to school, thank the goddess for impermanence!

My husband was standing in a ray of sunlight.
He commented on how nice it felt to just stand there and soak it up, so I snuck up behind him and stole some, and got to share a hug at the same time.

Sunday Family Roast Lunch.
Always makes me smile. It started out as dinner, but with the rush to clean up and get kids organized in the early evening, it just naturally morphed into lunch. We all enjoy having the time to sit down together and talk with none of the weekly evening distractions.
We have a ritual called “roses and thorns”. Telling each other what has been great in our week, and also being able to talk about something that was not. We make a point of concentrating on the roses as the thorns can become a bit of an excuse to complain...which we had to nip in the bud, so to speak! Actually, the thorns just naturally fell away once we all got the hang of it.
Another element that I particularly enjoy is the follow up Sunday dinner, simply left-overs or toasted sandwiches. What a relaxing Sunday afternoon!

We could all take note, or make notes of the things that make us smile. The small beautiful things that fill our beautiful lives.
They remind us of how each moment just is that, a perfect moment right now.

suzy x

Give Forgive a Chance

“We move through life hurting others as well as being hurt.
We move though life hurting ourselves as well as being hurt by others.
And forgiveness is needed”. Stephanie Dowrick

Forgiveness is not pretending wrong is right. It allows us to see the big picture, where things are as they are, right, wrong...they just are.
Forgiveness of those who have hurt us is not a generosity of our spirit; it simply prevents their harmful impact from influencing us.
Forgiveness allows us to learn from the past as we leave it behind.

We either forgive, or we hold onto bitterness and anger.

People are evolving all the time. Scientists have told us we replace and regenerate every cell in our body. That would mean neither me nor you are the same person we were several years ago. People’s priorities change. What was once held significant may not hold the same value for someone anymore. People often act without thinking. They are driven by their own internal stories; therefore their actions are not only about you.
Knowing this doesn’t make damage or pain go away, but it can be very helpful when we want to forgive someone.


Forgive because you can.
Forgiveness is irrelevant of whether or not it is deserved.
Forgiveness follows the decision not to allow past wounds to dictate your present.

Real people are complex.
Someone who has hurt you may never understand what they have done, and they may never suffer for their actions. This is no longer your concern.
No-one’s suffering, or understanding for that matter, will make you feel better.

During the week, as Regina and I were discussing Forgiveness, I realized I was having great difficulty in forgiving someone close to me for a remark that is brought up every now and then over the years. (Often enough for me!)
Whilst discussing this, Regina observed this person is obviously very attached to what they have been saying to me (about me), to be saying it for so long.
As we talked…I came up with why this person could be so attached to the hurtful remarks…it was their way of bandaging their involvement over what had happened, not wanting to acknowledge their own part in the story.
After realizing this, it was a huge release, wow, I could actually move on from this on-going painful remark once understanding it wasn’t really about me. I could forgive her. And I will know that, the next time it is brought up!

You are in control of your own thoughts, reactions and emotions. Emotions follow thoughts, and you have the power to reject thoughts that disturb or upset you.
Remember the golden-oldie, “nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”.

Instead of spending energy on what has hurt us, turn your attention to what supports you. When forgiveness is absent, so is self respect and perhaps even self-love.

I can hate something that has been done; I can even detest the person who did it. I may never want to see them, speak to them or trust them again. But I want to move forward, if only for my own sake. So I forgive them. And I feel a helluva lot better these days!

Once you have forgiven someone, you don’t have to continue doing it. It only takes once, if it is done honestly. Then when thoughts of that person or the hurtful experience come to mind, just wish them well. If you do this every time, the thought will return less and less, until it actually fades away.

Forgiveness will treat your hurt as you would any other wound. You may have broken your arm once, you will remember the pain, but you can’t feel it anymore. You will always remember the hurtful incident, but you no longer feel the pain.


2 Tools for Forgiveness

Imagine the person who has hurt you; now imagine you have just been told the most wonderful news about them. How do you feel? If you feel a flash of bitterness, resentment or anger, you have not been able to forgive them...yet.
If you feel ok with it, even at ease, you know you have moved on and have successfully forgiven them.

Here is one that I love from Stephanie Dowrick’s book “Choosing Happiness Life & Soul Essentials”.
Imagine you are putting the person who has caused you harm into a small boat, and that the boat is traveling back out into the ocean of life. Give it a great heave! Soon it’s far out of your range of vision. You are not causing that person harm; you are leaving them to their destiny.
You are getting on with your own.

suzy x

To the Power of the Positive!

A few weeks ago I wrote about Junk mail, useless mind chatter. When we unconsciously let our mind be filled with unnecessary thoughts, which we are not aware of. We are also not aware of how negative these thoughts usually are...and what a negative impact they have on our lives.

I’m talking about the stream of thoughts that are telling us what we don’t like about ourselves and others...you know the ones, I’m fat, I’m broke, I’m unhappy. Or, would you check out what she is wearing!

When we are consciously aware of this Junk mail, and choose to turn these thoughts into positive affirmations we change the impact our thoughts have on our present and our future. To a positive outcome.

I know some people find affirmations a bit on the airy-fairy side, it is a bit unusual to go into someone’s bathroom and see a big sign on the mirror, saying “I am beautiful”.
But if you consider, that your mind, your sub-conscience, does not have a sense of humour, it does not understand sarcasm and it is only trying to achieve what you are constantly asking for, then...if you tell yourself you are fat, your sub-conscious mind will try damn hard to achieve that for you...same with broke, sick and unhappy unfortunately! Get the idea.
But if you were to constantly tell your self, I am healthy; I have a healthy body, and start to believe it, guess what? You will feel, and more than likely achieve, a healthy body, meaning a healthy weight, not feeling as sick and hopefully feeling happier too!

Don’t let yourself wake up in the morning, thinking “Oh my, this day sucks, these kids are driving me crazy or I hate my job, blah blah blah.” You know what you are going to get, don’t you, a day that sucks big time, insanity causing children, and another horrible day at work. Instead take a few moments to be grateful, positive, say a little affirmation, whatever works for you. Make it yours, your words, your situation. Own it. Write it. Say it. Believe it.

I will admit to you, I am one of those people who likes to have things up on my mirror (call me airy-fairy, I don’t mind!) I write big affirmations in white board pen. At the moment it says “live a beautiful life”. At times it has said things regarding health, happiness, energy, but it is there and a constant reminder, to let my subconscious know what is on my wish list.
The more you think it and say it the more you will believe it, and guess again- once you believe it...you are it. So, constantly thinking with positive affirmations, will make you happy, healthy, wealthy, successful. It is not some distant, one day obtainable thing; it is here, ready, waiting for you, waiting for you to want it, think about it and believe it.

Take the word successful; think to yourself I AM SUCCESSFUL, over and over, regularly, everyday. Soon you will see success in your life; you are successful, in more ways then one. Look at all the things you have successfully done, you are a SUCCESS! See, success wasn’t some far off thing you were trying to achieve, you have been achieving it all along, all this time, you just needed to let yourself know it, feel it, believe it and then you see it! (This works with any type of affirmation by the way!)

I said at the start of this piece, when we think negatively about ourselves and others. Sometimes I find myself standing in a line somewhere, and before I know it Whoomp! I’ve just looked at some stranger, and thought, “get a load of that”...before I can even catch myself. I don’t want to feel like this, I don’t want to be judgmental of another person; this person is the same as me. This person also wants a healthy and happy life. Being judgmental is a form of Junk mail, it doesn’t really matter if things are good or bad... food, days, traffic, someone’s dress sense...it just is. Don’t let the Junk mail run with judging everything you come across.
A fantastic little way to fix this negative blunder is to bless the person, silently wish them a happy and loving life.

My problem recurring thought is “...we can’t, we’re broke” or “I shouldn’t...broke”
So how do I turn that into a positive affirmation, when I sure as heck know how much is in the bank account, so it’s hard to “feel” wealthy! (Because you have to feel it to believe it right?)
Regina suggested to say instead, I choose not to spend my money on that outfit, or going out for dinner or whatever the subject is. We are making a choice; this instantly makes the situation positive, I CHOOSE not to spend my money on that.

Having pure consciousness is pure potentiality. Potentiality is all our infinite possibilities. Our essential nature is pure potentiality. By paying close attention, we can create our future in our present activities.

Live a beautiful life!

suzy x

Don't forget to Breathe

Breathe.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

The simplest and most available way to be Present.

Breathe when you are feeling tired, and it will re-energize you.
Breathe when you are feeling stressed, and it will calm you.
Breathe when the speed of your life feels out of sync with your natural body rhythms, and it will slow you down.

I mindfully breathe every day, and often. When sitting in traffic, noticing a pain in my right shoulder, reading a book, whenever I can remember. Just a few deep, long breaths. Centered again. Breathing is not just for meditation, yoga or calming down. We must also remember to use breathing just for ourselves, a few here, a few there...centered.

My children, like most, can have very strong emotional reactions when something does not turn out as they expected. (read: throw a tantrum when they don’t get their own way). I have started, in small steps, to get them aware of their breath when they feel angry or upset. I touch them on the belly, and ask for one big breath in and a slow breath out, then get them to do it a couple of more times. Filling their bellies when breathing in, and taking twice as long to breathe out.
I know it is having an effect and they are paying attention, as now when I am feeling irritated, one of them will say, “take a big breath mummy”.

Breathing is something we do naturally, but if you do it mindfully it changes your reality, makes you present, in the Now. You become aware of the space you are in.

Breathe when you spend time with those you love, it will keep you focused, instead of your mind wandering off to your work, or the grocery list.
Breathe when you are alone, to remind yourself what a gift each moment is.

Breath awareness brings us back to our senses- what we are hearing, what we are seeing, what we are tasting, touching and smelling. It creates a sense of home in our body, where we can process the thoughts passing through our mind, where we can feel alive in our bodies, and at home in our lives.

By the way, the breath technique I am trying really hard to master is the breath I need to take when someone is speaking to me. Breathe; they may have more to say. Breathe; I will listen better (rather than looking for a pause to say what I want!) Breathe; and consider my reply...
I am still practicing!

Stick the word Breathe on your fridge, write it in white board pen on your mirror, put it up as your screensaver, or a Post It note in your wallet!

Breathe, mindfully, for you.

suzy xx

Here is a great Breath Technique which is especially useful when we are busy, worrying about the past or future, feeling anxious or angry:

Begin by stopping what you are doing – take a few deep breaths –
and then ask yourself one of the following questions:

What is going on for me right now?
What sensations am I aware of in my body?
How am I feeling right now?

It works really well when you are feeling speedy, stressed or irritable.
Developing the habit of stopping and pausing is helpful in enabling us to interrupt automatic habits and coming back to the present moment.

Another great technique, but takes a bit longer;

Deliberately stop and stand tall and straight, then ask yourself “What is going on with me at the moment?” Notice whatever feelings and thoughts you have at that very moment.

Then begin paying full attention to each in-breath and each out-breath, the sensations in your body as they follow one another, in and out.

Expand the field of your awareness around your breathing so that it includes a sense of your body as a whole, your posture and facial expression. Now you are sensing the body from head to toe, allowing the breath to breathe alongside and within the body.

Happiness is a Pleasure

Picture this, you are out to lunch with good friends, the food is delicious, the wine is pouring, the laughter is contagious, the sun is even shining...aahh happiness. Not quite...actually it is pleasure, a passing moment. An easy mistake to make, and one we make often.

But, what we can do is use the moments of pleasure as a trigger to remind us of our happiness. Good friends, yummy food, great wine, laughter, sunshine, take a deep breath, and put these few things into the big picture...you have wealth (well, if you can afford your lunch, you do!) You and your family have health, you are out to lunch not nursing a sniffling child (or worse...husband!), and you have friends to share your life with. It’s a beautiful life.

The other day, I finally got around to cleaning the upstairs of our house. I did the works- bathrooms, bedrooms, all the washing- clothes and linen, the floors were vacuumed and the walls wiped clean of little hand prints. It looked stunning, and gave me such pleasure to walk through. Instead of letting the pleasure allow me to “think” I was “happy” I went straight to my custom affirmation, “I have a beautiful life”. I used the pleasure of seeing my clean home (not to mention the pleasure of finally committing to getting it done, and doing a great job!) as a trigger to acknowledge my happiness. I have a beautiful family, a beautiful home, a beautiful life.

Taking ourselves to this true version of happiness has longer lasting affects than pleasure. Hugging friends’ goodbye after a lovely lunch, only to return to your home with squabbling children and a messy kitchen...the pleasure of the lunch soon wears off!
If you have used the experience to remind you of your total happiness, including the healthy, beautiful, squabbling children, the messy kitchen that can also sparkle and all that encompasses your happiness, the feel good moment won’t be fleeting. It is a state of being.

There are so many moments of pleasure in our lives. Laughing with workmates, dinner dates, holidays, even a visit to the hairdresser! All perfect opportunities to place these small moments into the larger representation of our lives, our happiness. Our beautiful lives. Lucky aren’t we!

suzy x

No Junk Mail Please

Mindfulness, being in the Now. Being aware.
You know what I’ve become really aware of, how much unnecessary mind chatter we have going on. Ever noticed all the stuff going around in your head, totally pointless thoughts that we may have thought about 100 times, and even resolved already...and yet there they are, still rolling around up there, getting thought about some more. I refer to them as junk mail.

When I first started paying attention to these thoughts it blew me away. How much time we spend rambling on in our heads; stories, conversations, arguments, repetitive memories of the past, repetitive hopes for the future.

When I shower, I clear my mind, and spend a few moments concentrating on the water, the warmth, the force, how it feels on my body. Then I affirm; I am cleansing my mind and body of all that is not healthy.
I can tell you what is a waste of time in the shower, reliving a conversation from 5 years ago! Or imagining finally standing up to that jerk at work. Why are we showering with 10 other people- especially that jerk from work! Take this time to clear your mind.

Clearing our mind of junk mail allows us to conserve energy spent on unnecessary thinking. Be aware, be open, be present.

I was at yoga class, unable to get rid of a silly junk mail thought, which I couldn’t even resolve until I got out of class. And guess what, it was resolved in 30 seconds of leaving- Regina decided to walk home, and I could catch up with a friend for coffee. At the time, I found it frustrating, yet very comical, that my mind wanted to keep going back to that one thought...how will Regina get home... Aaarrgh, go away thought, let me breathe and stretch! I told myself over and over, let it go, and imagined it flowing away like a current or a breeze (hey I was in a yoga class!) but it kept coming back. Junk mail.

Clearing our mind of junk mail relieves facial and muscle tension. Shift the energy back, breathe deeply, feel your feet on the ground, centre yourself.

There are so many triggers we can use to cut this chatter out. By being in the Now with what we are doing; be it driving a car, cooking a meal, cleaning up, listening to someone speak, spending time with our children, showering, the first and last five minutes in bed, hanging out washing. Use them.

Quietening the mind of junk mail allows us to be more creative, more insightful, more aware...happier. Don’t confuse all that activity going on up there with forward motion. Taking a moment to breathe and do nothing gives clarity, taking you forward faster.

All thoughts have energy. So, scattered, negative, out of control chatter gives your life the same energy = scattered, negative and out of control...
But! Controlled, managed and channeled thinking gives your life the same energy, which speaks for itself really!

A lot of junk mail revolves around the past and the future. Trying to guess what happens next, wishing for more. Fantasizing or Obsessing. Holding on to junk that should be let go of, adding to your "baggage". If your mind is in the present, you can’t feel anxiety for the future or the past.

A great book I read, The Way of Harmony by Jim Dreaver explains that we can observe our thoughts, so therefore we are not the thoughts. If we can observe our thoughts when they appear, we can just as easily observe them disappear. We are not our thoughts; we are the awareness behind them.

Once you start paying attention to what you are "thinking" you will be blown away too. All day, every day, from the moment we wake, till we toss and turn with crazy thoughts at night! Now when I pick up on totally useless or negative thoughts, I throw them straight in the bin, just like junk mail.

So... clear the junk mail. When you live in the moment, are aware, and appreciate all that is going on around you, you can take a step back and see your beautiful life.

suzy x

What is your body asking for?

When we wrote our first blog I mentioned that 3 years ago, when I started on this path, I found myself, among other things, mentally and physically exhausted.

I struggled along with it like many, many of you do. I heard the comments coming from all of you, I’m sooo tired, I’m bushed, I’m worn out...I remember my sister answering my “I’m so tired”, with “I’ve been tired since the day I left the hospital with my first child”. So I continued on, thinking everybody feels like this, just get on with it, in the typical woman’s way, what else was I to do?

About 2 years ago it became obvious what I was dealing with was more severe than I had realized. When both my mother and sister pointed out to me that yes, we girls do get tired, but it wasn’t quite so normal for me to be going to bed with the kids, exhausted at 7pm. Getting up after 10 hours sleep- exhausted. Having a glass of wine to prop myself up enough to be bothered talking to anyone, sleeping during the day, and just really struggling with my tiredness.

I started looking into it, getting treatments from various alternative practitioners, and getting the same explanation, my body was exhausted and stressed, but not really any answers. Then a naturopath finally said it...you have chronic fatigue. After spending almost $1000 on the visit, tests and medications that day, I left her office miserable (and broke), sat in my car and cried my eyes out.

The last 18 months I have really researched this thing called chronic fatigue. It is something which the medical guys don’t have an answer for; it has only been described by American scientists as recently as 1988. I have dealt with physical pain issues for 20 years, I am experienced enough to know you have to look around to find what works for you with any type of treatment. I am going to share with you, some of the stuff that has worked for me.

Firstly, a few of my thoughts on fatigue. I feel it comes from many sources, chronic pain is a definite one for me, the hangover of having infants- it takes a long time to catch up on all that missed sleep, stress, attempting to do it all . I also think the toxins we are taking in every day, in every way, are a part of it too. I feel its hit and miss, we all feel different levels. For some it is chronic fatigue, and other’s the general constant tiredness one feels.

So, my tips are-

When I was first diagnosed, I went on the, “spending loads, altering me, and freaking out frenzy” that one does. I tried to cut out as many toxins as possible; I bought all my make up, skin products and hair dye from the Health Food shop. I still try and use a fair amount of these, but the ones I didn’t like went by the wayside, and I would say; now I have a happy medium.
It is good to know how many toxins are in every thing we use, from health and beauty, to cleaning, and of course food. Now we can even get hold of preservative free Vodka and Wine! Become aware of the things you may want to change, and try to minimize toxins where you can.

Medicating. There are so many great supplements, vitamins, homeopathic, minerals...the list goes on. I would never recommend buying everything every one tells you, it is expensive, and can never be up kept. I have cut down greatly. Some were doing the same job, some were unnecessary and of course some have made a huge difference.
I think the best thing I have done is find a female Doctor/Naturopath (luckily for me she is just across the road-thank you Universe!) She specializes in issues of women’s fatigue and hormone imbalances. She is able to give me the best advice from both medical and natural science, I think this is important. No one way is the right or wrong way, when dealing with something as life altering as fatigue. Take on board what every one says, and use what works for you.
But if you do suffer from severe fatigue, do see someone, and do take something...there is a better kind of normal.

My 3 favorite things, Water, Green Tea, and a Slow Cooker!
I have been drinking a litre of water as soon as I wake up, quickly, on an empty stomach for 15 months now, and I know it has become a life habit.
It will help you with many complaints, constipation, extra weight, aches and pains and most importantly, hydrate you. I prefer filtered water; there is really no point in downing a litre if it is full of chemicals and toxins. It has to be room temperature or warm, not cold. Try it, after a month you will see the benefits...you will be going to the bathroom a lot too. I also try and drink another 1 to 2 litres of water during the day, a little harder in winter, but I do the best I can. We forget that water is the elixir of life, our bodies are over 90 per cent water, if we are thirsty, we are tired. The first signs of dehydration can present themselves as hunger...so drink! Your body will say thank you!

Green Tea- Chronic stress and toxic substances weaken our immune system, allowing viruses in our body to adversely affect us. Many studies have shown that green tea can slow down viral growth and improve the immune system. When the immune system functions well it keeps the viruses under control and we remain healthy, feel better...less tired! Another little bonus, the caffeine in Green Tea is linked to tannic acid, and causes a mild but lasting reduction in fatigue. Green Tea is full of antioxidants, and that’s a good thing for our bodies, on all levels.
I personally find that green tea cleanses my palate after a meal; I have read that it aids with digestion and metabolism, and I believe it helps with maintaining a healthy weight. I like to have one after every meal.

Slow Cooker- find ways that make everyday jobs quick and easy, simplifying life will give you a break. For me it is the slow cooker, dinner is on first thing in the morning, the food is healthy, and my “no meat eater” likes it, as does my” no veggie eater”! Something to be said for that! Simple. Find something that works for you.

Whether it is a rest, a nap or meditating; when you can, take some time for yourself. I am a big fan of the nap! A study on a comparison of 3 people who had not slept for a night confirmed this. One stayed awake all the next day, one slept for an hour and one had a 20 minute nap. Then they completed a series of tests, the 20 minute napper came out on top. 20 minutes is enough time to refresh you, however an hour crosses over into the next sleep phase, and when woken disrupts the cycle again, so you remain exhausted.
Lie down, set your inner alarm, and give yourself a 20 minute power nap. Most of us can manage this (I have even done it in lunch breaks!)

Most importantly give your fatigue space, accept it, and give yourself a break. If you are constantly getting around with the mantra, “gees I’m tired, I’m so tired, godamn I’m tired” and remind yourself (and everyone around you!) that you are really tired, what do you expect to feel!
Give it space, think about it, feel it, accept it is there, ask yourself, will I survive this, will I get through this, yes you will, move on and get on with your day. You will find when you stop obsessing about it, and have accepted it, you will not feel as tired...amazing! (And it works!)

Be a friend to yourself, stop requiring perfection. Break down tasks into smaller more manageable lots and don’t sweat the small stuff.

We have to be gentle to ourselves. We have to accept how we feel, allow it, and stop making it our enemy. We have to listen to what our body is asking for, nourishment, hydration, rest, help. Be aware.

Be kind to you, love you...you’re worth it.

suzy x

A Treat a day, keeps the Stress away

Have you ever noticed how often we answer the question “how are you?”, with a “Great thanks...busy”. We are all so busy all the time. There are always things we “should” be doing. I should get the housework done today, should get the breakfast dishes cleaned up before I take the kids to school, should go down to the shops, rather than take a walk, should do this, should do that.

Maybe what we should do is take a look at our “should list”, and see how important this stuff really is. Maybe what we should be doing is spring-cleaning our list. Maybe some of our should list is outdated these days; like ironing is for me, which I think has always been not only out dated, but also over rated, I buy crumple free clothes! I also know housework, dishes, chores, will always (unfortunately) wait for me, and still be there when I decide to do them. I have never had too much difficulty in closing the door on these should do’s and going off to do something I want to do. Of course, if housework is your “thing” then that is what you want to do, as you enjoy it, so it is not really on your should list but on your want list...you know who you are!

I don’t think I have ever walked into the home of a friend with children, looked around in shock, and thought “good goddess!” this place is an absolute pigsty!
Of course I see things, dishes on the sink, toys on the floor, and also it is very likely the friend will say something like, “excuse the mess, you know how it is”... and then you both get on with the business of catching up and enjoying each other’s company.

I know that when I am 105 years old, taking a moment and looking back over my life, having my home absolutely immaculate when the children were small, will not be high on my list of priorities or great accomplishments! I am a busy woman, the things I should be doing are enjoying my life, enjoying my family, enjoying my friends. The things I have to do will wait, and no-one I care about is judging me on when I get them done!

The other day I was between one room and another, tidying up, putting washing away; something totally mundane and un-urgent, when I saw a large shaft of sunlight across my bedroom floor. It looked so inviting, our winter is here and it was a bit on the chilly side that morning. I put down whatever I was doing and decided to lie in the sunlight for 5 minutes and do some deep breathing, clear my mind for just those few minutes. I’m not the best at meditation, I start off with great intentions, get my breathing going. I am usually able to push the thoughts along and clear my mind, then I try to pretend that I am not moving into a more comfortable position, extremely like a napping position, then I promptly doze off. So I try to keep meditations short! Taking these 5 minutes to clear my mind, concentrate on my breath, revitalizes me. Gives my body and mind a break from the usual, ordinary and daily stuff. It takes no time to take a momentary break and kick start your self.


It is essential to use any spare moments you can find, here and there, to quieten your mind (even 1 minute for the extra busy people!) let the thoughts roll away, take deep breaths, relax yourself for just a moment, be kind to you...then get back into it. I can highly recommend doing this in a patch of sunlight at this time of year, very warm and cosy, with a nice dose of Vitamin D thrown in!

Surely all of us deserve to treat ourselves this way every day.

suzy x

Would you like a Smile with that?

I have a new thing I’ve been doing for a while now; it’s reverse-customer service

Whenever I am being “served” by someone, say, in the supermarket or the petrol station, wherever, I make a point of greeting the person behind the counter in a truly genuine way, looking at them directly, smiling and actually interacting with them, catching them at the end with a comment, like, “you have a great weekend!”, and taking the time to mean it. The difference it makes to the “service” I receive is phenomenal!

The difference it makes to me is phenomenal; I seem to walk out of there, with a lighter step, and a bigger smile on my face. Because I am not just being served, I am interacting on a personal level with this person. When I do this; it gives me a long feeling of satisfaction, which I definitely don’t get when I am totally in my own world and focusing on my own needs and wants. I have connected with that person, rather than rushing through the process; of them serving me, me not noticing them, me having much more important stuff on my mind!

When Eckhart Tolle talks of this, he says we are acknowledging they are human beings, our common humanity. Nice.


I have a friend who refers to this as “Brownie Points”. He takes it as far as picking up litter when he sees it. If he doesn’t like the look of the rubbish, than neither do you or I, or even the birds in the sky (as he puts it!) He gets a kick out of randomly saying to someone, “hey, that shirt looks great on you!”, can you imagine what an unexpected compliment like that does for someone! What it also can do for you! Imagine if every time you earned a “brownie point” your “karma’, your soul, or even just your day for that moment, became better.

I read once that the pursuit of happiness cannot make us any worse off, only improve things for us, how true! I think it works perfectly in this practice, we get something from giving to others; it makes us happier. Maybe we’ve even earned “brownie points”- so, it can’t hurt!

Maybe this week, I will finally get that grumpy lady at the newsagent to smile, or I will make a comment to someone at the petrol station and they will go home and look in the mirror and think, “I love this shirt!’ I do know if I keep this up, I will continue getting great customer service, a lot more smiles, and have an overall happy feeling. It’s all good!

suzy x

The Simple Joys

The other day while I was doing my grocery shopping I made a choice...I don’t know why, because usually when buying corn I grab the convenient pre-packed stuff that is cleaned and cut. But the long cobs of corn in their husk, for 50c each, grabbed my eye. After a few seconds of indecision, I chose the corn cobs.
A day later, I took out the ingredients for my slow cooker soup, oh the joys of getting dinner over and done with at 9.30am. Don’t get me started on the joys of a slow cooker! As I started to peel away the husk of the corn, I was totally moved! I felt like a child again, how long had it been since I had done this, or even looked at a fully husked cob of corn...It was such an enjoyable feeling, the texture, the soft silken strands, the sound of the husk coming away from the cob, the smell of freshness. I realized how I had almost bought my usual plastic-wrapped pack. If I had, I would not be experiencing this, this moment in time, this pure, simple joy. It is meditative, to be able to enjoy such a simple experience. It made me feel wholesome, and too, it made me feel great because I was creating something wholesome for my family. It got me through the later challenge of what my children thought of having soup for dinner!

Many of the people that I read, listen to and talk with, discuss meditation in a very relaxed way. To meditate does not necessarily mean you have to sit with your legs crossed, back straight, with a completely clear mind, ohmming away blissfully. A meditation is just being in the moment, in the “now” as Eckhart Tolle and others speak of. Be right in that moment, and enjoy it for all it offers, sight, smell, texture, emotion, and it will make you smile to realize how simple little joys can improve your day! It is a great tool for achieving that “in the now”. We should accept the past, not stress about the future, be aware of them both, but don’t obsess over either of them (because that sure ain’t gonna change them!) Be in the present, right now.

Another thought this brought up for me, was that the whole convenient, pre-packed, grab it and run products available for us busy people, robs us of the simple sensory delights, the meditative moments, the wholesome feelings we can add to our day by choosing the cob of corn.

This week I think we should choose one wholesome whole-food to replace one of the handy, frozen, canned or pre-packed options we usually go for...for me, I am going to replace the packet of frozen spinach for my korma that I make in my slow cooker (there I go again!), with a big, real, fresh bunch of spinach!

suzy x

Where did this begin?

Here we go, with our blog, where did this begin?

For me it started 3 years ago.

I was working long hours, I'm a freelancer, working generally for 6 months of a year. I felt overweight, exhausted mentally and physically, had 2 young children, 4 & 5 yrs old, and was dealing with a chronic pain issue. Wow...good times! A colleague gave me a copy of "The Secret" to watch, I was so ready to open my mind to this new concept, and became very excited by it. To this day, I think "The Secret" was a fantastic vehicle, made so available to many, to switch us on, and I am grateful for that, and even able to ignore the absurdity of scenes such as staring at a diamond necklace, and wishing for it! I quickly moved on, to more books, like minded people and conversations, finding all the avenues opening up. "The Power of your Subconscious Mind." Now this book was revolutionary for me! The first chapters being about pain, showing me there was a better way to affirm what we want, and truly feel we have it (no, not the diamond necklace!). I felt I was gaining some control of this life. I became very aware, that happiness is a choice. To be able to choose happiness, that was the trick...to be able to use the affirmations, and get to a place, where I believed what I was saying and felt blessed and happy.

I can taste my happiness, people see it, it is real, and surprises, in the best way, daily; now that is a beautiful life!

Is it an an on going daily battle-hell no! It is about using tools, and being aware, and giving space, having acceptance, it is about sooo much! It is breathe, it is water, it is quietening a busy mind, it is Green Tea...and having a sense of humour. It is about what you want, what you deserve, what you can look upon and know that you have lived this one life in the way that it deserves, it is a beautiful life, you just gotta know that and grab it!

suzy x