The Joy of being 40

I have often joked that if I knew how it felt to be 40 years old, I would have done it 15 years ago!

I love being on the “grown up” journey, when you start to truly understand yourself and recognize the things you “need”.

I look at the friends and family in my life, and I know that over the last few years the people around me have become a supportive and loving assemblage. Gone are the days of younger years- comparing, “bitching” and judging. I like to think my “friendship tree” has been pruned down to the essentials. Sometimes you just got to cut some branches off. Age has bought the realisation that I am better off to share my time with people who offer positive aspects to my life.

I am able to feel responsible for my own state of being; I don’t rely on others to produce happiness for me. I get through painful and hurtful times, by remembering it is only my take on someone’s actions that brings pain and hurt into my life.

I feel old enough to be able to be comfortable with who I am.

I don’t need to carry life’s burdens. I look for ways to understand them, accept them, and grow from them. I can always find a positive outlook on these situations…there is always something good that comes from these times.

I no longer expect to be with my soul mate, in fact I believe in soul mates about as much as I do a happy Hollywood ending. I am married to a man though, that I recognize love in most all of his actions. And I do know that when I am 80 years old sitting back and sipping a cider (though I don’t drink cider now it feels it might be an appropriate tipple at 80!)…It’s his hand I want to be holding.

My work ethic has changed. All about me has a different meaning to the “all about me” of my youth. All about me means that I do the best I can do, in the best way I can. I do not let myself be held to other people’s expectations, as I securely know I have done the best I can.

I am also in the process of altering my career, to something I feel more attuned to. My new path is about what I want to be doing, and what I know will give me immense fulfilment, it fills a long held desire of what I feel is my “true calling”. It is a change that will not only benefit myself, but my family. I am so very excited by this change, and it brings me so much joy to be planning it out. I have pondered over this for many years, not being able to quite put my finger on exactly “what” it was that I wanted to do. Not have I only been able to realise it, but I may be able to even blend it into my current work life, merging the two together, until a new path becomes the way.

I have a stronger understanding of my own opinions now, and yet, I also have a greater acceptance of others opinions. I do not need for everyone to agree with me. I enjoy hearing other’s beliefs and thoughts, learning from them, taking the bits that make a fit with mine, even changing how I originally felt about something, always growing stronger in the heart of my belief system.

I trust my own judgement more than I ever did, yet am able to accept that I can make errors, and I am able to forgive myself for these.

I am more patient. I am able to sit and wait things out, or just accept what I cannot change.

I don’t need other’s approval. My relationship with myself gets stronger and healthier with every birthday. All I need is my approval, based on my knowledge of that what I am doing is right for myself and for those around me.

I have learnt to be grateful. I have learnt how to have gratitude in my life. I am grateful for things that never would have crossed my mind at 25!

And best of all I get to enjoy more grown up things like a fabulous new blend of green tea, my women’s group, making healthy choices over partying lifestyle and being a kinder person.

I love this beautiful aging process, and it is amazing to realise I am only half way through it! I am looking forward to each decade. For the knowledge it brings, the contentment…the shift in consciousness.

So much to look forward to in this beautiful life.

suzy x

This Week

This week I am going to eat ONE meal mindfully- I am going to eat slowly, put my knife and fork down between mouthfuls, and not read a magazine, newspaper, watch the TV or sit in front of the computer. I am going to eat my meal mindfully, think about the taste, the ingredients, and the process of making it- even if it’s a tuna sandwich!

This week, I am going to remind myself how easy it is to slip into being judgmental. It does not affect my life how someone else IS. It does not matter to my well being ONE bit, how someone else is, looks, dresses or speaks. It affects my wellbeing when I allow myself to be judgemental. When I feel these slip-ups I need to slap myself on the wrist, and remind myself of my choice to live a beautiful life!

This week I am going to focus on the people who bring happiness, beauty, fun and all things good to my life, I am definitely not going to allow myself to feel upset by what negative people are playing out in their own lives.

This week I will remember that my body is not only a temple, but also you are what you eat…and that throwing a slow cooker together in the morning is as easy as grabbing take away on the way home from swimming squad.

This week I am going to find someone that I can do something for to change his or her circumstances this week. It could be a comment, a deed, a phone call, or an action. We are all surrounded by opportunities to be generous to those we do and do not know. We should seize these opportunities, and thank the universe for allowing us to be generous.

This week I will also do something for me. I’m pretty good at this, and don’t need reminders. I should remind myself though, how cool it is to be able to have a midday nap, buy a magazine, sip a coffee while watching the world go by or just sit somewhere in the sun.

I’m going to look at the sky more, breathe deeply, and listen to people when they are speaking without thinking about what I want to say next. I’m going to walk slowly and take in all that is around me, instead of rushing to where I want to go.

I’m going to buy a bunch of flowers, clean out a cupboard, play with the cat and watch a chick flick.

I’m going to worry and complain less. I’m going to smile, laugh and share more. I will continue to remind myself what I am grateful for every morning. I will try to keep being the best friend I can be. I will really focus on the joy my children bring me, and not what drives me crazy. I will agree with my husband, not because I necessarily do, but because it doesn’t really matter either way most of the time

I am going to embrace problematic situations, as an opportunity to find the solution. I am going to challenge myself to overcome low moments and hurdles, and be grateful to be able to feel my strengths.

I will do these things because I know they change my life for the better.

I know how beautiful my life is.

suzy x

How To Be Happy

Happiness is a Choice.

We have to squash our negative thoughts...like a bug!
It takes so much energy to think and speak negatively.
It takes all our energy away from us when we choose to feel miserable, to hate, to be angry, to judge others.
Pull yourself up from negative thinking, slap yourself on the wrist. (I actually do that, physically!)
Happiness is a Choice. Make It.

Feel the Love People!
Love the people around you. Love your home. Love your pet.
Love your dinner. Love your bed. Love the weather.
The stronger you feel love, the stronger the power of the Law of Attraction in your life. The stronger the Law of Attraction; the stronger the power to create a beautiful life and attract more love into your life!

Be Grateful. For your family, for your friends, for your job, for your car, for your furniture, for your toothbrush!
If you wake up every morning and feel true gratitude for all that you have, you will feel happiness, how can you not. Mentally going through a list of what you are grateful for reminds you of the positives in your life, of what is important to you.

Mindfulness. Live in the moment. When the moment is good, do not worry about things that have happened, or things that could happen. When the moment is good, sit back and notice, smile, take a mental snap shot. Life is good, whether it’s a funny moment, great meal, fresh breeze. Enjoy these moments. Notice them.

Do not judge others, and do not allow yourself to be judged by others. I believe judgment of others to be one of the biggest failings we can have.
It is sneaky and comes up in our thoughts with out us even noticing. It is erroneous and a daily battle worth fighting.
I can’t say this enough, if you stop judging others you will immediately drop a little misery- just like that.

Do not compare yourself to others either... be inspired by them.
Be happy with who you are, where you are and what you have.

Make deep friendships. Two deep friends are worth a hundred times more than a group of people who do not recognize your value and care for you. Recognize the value in the friends that matter to you, thank them, let them know. Share with them, support them and know that they will always be there for you too.

Be Generous. With words, thoughts, actions. Give a little gift to someone who makes a difference in your life or call them and tell them what they mean to you. People gain a lot of pleasure from being told they are appreciated. You will feel happy by just doing something so simple.

Laugh. Watch funny movies, read funny books. Hang out with kids, have funny friends, be funny, whatever it takes, make sure you laugh as often as you can. See the funny side. Life doesn’t have to be so serious, it should be enjoyed

Rest. Re-charge. Re-energise. Re-flect. Get enough sleep. Take a nap. Lie down with a magazine. Deep Breathe. Meditate. Life is so fast pace; we prioritize getting things done, getting somewhere now and sometimes forgot how important it is to just rest.

Believe in something other than yourself. Something bigger than us. Think about what contribution you can make in your life time. Give back.

Don’t expect the worst. Sometimes when things seem to be going wrong, it may be that they are just changing paths and direction. Some problems are there to help us grow. Have some trust in the Universe; expect things to turn out for the best eventually.

Don’t see the worst in others, accept differences, expect the best only of yourself.

Take a good look at yourself.
It’s fine to know the affirmations, the mantras and read the books...but where are your thoughts...
Are they happy? Or are you concentrating on what you don’t like, what annoys you, who did something “wrong”...
How is your lifestyle? Are you a good friend, co-worker, person; making conscience positive decisions or are you making the day harder and a little more difficult for others or yourself?

If we keep thinking we hate our job-we will always hate our job.
If we think about how someone always drives us crazy- they will always drive us crazy.
If you keep thinking about those extra kilos, you will always have extra kilos.

If you keep thinking about how someone makes you hurt, angry, how things never go right, how you don’t like certain things about someone...you are never going to be able to be truly happy

Happiness is determined by our minds, not our circumstances. Happiness is a choice. No one or no thing can make us happy.

Keep thinking about how awesome our families are.
What amazing friends we have.
How you can make a difference at work, in the world...for someone.
How the sunshine is a blessing, how good your favorite sandwich tastes, how funny our friends and kids are.
We are surrounded by simple pleasures every day.

And remember of course happy people are not happy all the time, that would be impossible, life throws stuff at all of us- they are just better at bouncing back to the state of contentedness after feeling unhappy.

Spread the word. Enjoy the Journey. We are here to live a happy life, a beautiful life.

suzy x

Gratitude is in the Attitude

I am grateful my husband didn’t get around to cleaning up the yard on the weekend, because it means he spent quality time with our son on his school project.

I am thankful for the floor that needs sweeping, the bathrooms that need cleaning and the switch that needs fixing, because it means I have a home.

I am grateful for finding the only parking spot at the far end of the car park, because it means I am able to walk.

I am thankful for the clothes that sometimes feel a little tighter around my waist, because it means I have enough to eat.

I am grateful for the huge electricity, telephone and car registration bills I have paid this week, because it means I am wealthy enough to afford these luxuries.

I am thankful for my children bickering with each other and complaining about household chores, because it means I have a healthy, normal family (and perfect hearing!)

I am grateful to clean up the weekend bomb-site on a Sunday night, because it means I have been surrounded by family and friends.

I am thankful that my back played up horrendously early in the week, because it was a reminder for me to look after myself.

I am grateful for the weariness and an aching body at the end of a big week, because it means I am capable of working hard.

I am thankful my family leaves their laundry wherever they take it off, because it means they have clothes to wear.

I am grateful that I was spoken to badly, as it taught me how to take a positive lesson from every situation.

I am thankful that I ended up getting to bed much later than planned last night, because it meant spending a couple of hours with my husband...uninterrupted.

I am grateful that the alarm clock goes off early, tearing me from my slumber, because it means that I am alive!

I am thankful that I sometimes have to push myself to get this blog done on time, because it means I get to share my beautiful life with you.

suzy x