Mindfulness, being in the Now. Being aware.
You know what I’ve become really aware of, how much unnecessary mind chatter we have going on. Ever noticed all the stuff going around in your head, totally pointless thoughts that we may have thought about 100 times, and even resolved already...and yet there they are, still rolling around up there, getting thought about some more. I refer to them as junk mail.
When I first started paying attention to these thoughts it blew me away. How much time we spend rambling on in our heads; stories, conversations, arguments, repetitive memories of the past, repetitive hopes for the future.
When I shower, I clear my mind, and spend a few moments concentrating on the water, the warmth, the force, how it feels on my body. Then I affirm; I am cleansing my mind and body of all that is not healthy.
I can tell you what is a waste of time in the shower, reliving a conversation from 5 years ago! Or imagining finally standing up to that jerk at work. Why are we showering with 10 other people- especially that jerk from work! Take this time to clear your mind.
Clearing our mind of junk mail allows us to conserve energy spent on unnecessary thinking. Be aware, be open, be present.
I was at yoga class, unable to get rid of a silly junk mail thought, which I couldn’t even resolve until I got out of class. And guess what, it was resolved in 30 seconds of leaving- Regina decided to walk home, and I could catch up with a friend for coffee. At the time, I found it frustrating, yet very comical, that my mind wanted to keep going back to that one thought...how will Regina get home... Aaarrgh, go away thought, let me breathe and stretch! I told myself over and over, let it go, and imagined it flowing away like a current or a breeze (hey I was in a yoga class!) but it kept coming back. Junk mail.
Clearing our mind of junk mail relieves facial and muscle tension. Shift the energy back, breathe deeply, feel your feet on the ground, centre yourself.
There are so many triggers we can use to cut this chatter out. By being in the Now with what we are doing; be it driving a car, cooking a meal, cleaning up, listening to someone speak, spending time with our children, showering, the first and last five minutes in bed, hanging out washing. Use them.
Quietening the mind of junk mail allows us to be more creative, more insightful, more aware...happier. Don’t confuse all that activity going on up there with forward motion. Taking a moment to breathe and do nothing gives clarity, taking you forward faster.
All thoughts have energy. So, scattered, negative, out of control chatter gives your life the same energy = scattered, negative and out of control...
But! Controlled, managed and channeled thinking gives your life the same energy, which speaks for itself really!
A lot of junk mail revolves around the past and the future. Trying to guess what happens next, wishing for more. Fantasizing or Obsessing. Holding on to junk that should be let go of, adding to your "baggage". If your mind is in the present, you can’t feel anxiety for the future or the past.
A great book I read, The Way of Harmony by Jim Dreaver explains that we can observe our thoughts, so therefore we are not the thoughts. If we can observe our thoughts when they appear, we can just as easily observe them disappear. We are not our thoughts; we are the awareness behind them.
Once you start paying attention to what you are "thinking" you will be blown away too. All day, every day, from the moment we wake, till we toss and turn with crazy thoughts at night! Now when I pick up on totally useless or negative thoughts, I throw them straight in the bin, just like junk mail.
So... clear the junk mail. When you live in the moment, are aware, and appreciate all that is going on around you, you can take a step back and see your beautiful life.
suzy x
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
What is your body asking for?
When we wrote our first blog I mentioned that 3 years ago, when I started on this path, I found myself, among other things, mentally and physically exhausted.
I struggled along with it like many, many of you do. I heard the comments coming from all of you, I’m sooo tired, I’m bushed, I’m worn out...I remember my sister answering my “I’m so tired”, with “I’ve been tired since the day I left the hospital with my first child”. So I continued on, thinking everybody feels like this, just get on with it, in the typical woman’s way, what else was I to do?
About 2 years ago it became obvious what I was dealing with was more severe than I had realized. When both my mother and sister pointed out to me that yes, we girls do get tired, but it wasn’t quite so normal for me to be going to bed with the kids, exhausted at 7pm. Getting up after 10 hours sleep- exhausted. Having a glass of wine to prop myself up enough to be bothered talking to anyone, sleeping during the day, and just really struggling with my tiredness.
I started looking into it, getting treatments from various alternative practitioners, and getting the same explanation, my body was exhausted and stressed, but not really any answers. Then a naturopath finally said it...you have chronic fatigue. After spending almost $1000 on the visit, tests and medications that day, I left her office miserable (and broke), sat in my car and cried my eyes out.
The last 18 months I have really researched this thing called chronic fatigue. It is something which the medical guys don’t have an answer for; it has only been described by American scientists as recently as 1988. I have dealt with physical pain issues for 20 years, I am experienced enough to know you have to look around to find what works for you with any type of treatment. I am going to share with you, some of the stuff that has worked for me.
Firstly, a few of my thoughts on fatigue. I feel it comes from many sources, chronic pain is a definite one for me, the hangover of having infants- it takes a long time to catch up on all that missed sleep, stress, attempting to do it all . I also think the toxins we are taking in every day, in every way, are a part of it too. I feel its hit and miss, we all feel different levels. For some it is chronic fatigue, and other’s the general constant tiredness one feels.
So, my tips are-
When I was first diagnosed, I went on the, “spending loads, altering me, and freaking out frenzy” that one does. I tried to cut out as many toxins as possible; I bought all my make up, skin products and hair dye from the Health Food shop. I still try and use a fair amount of these, but the ones I didn’t like went by the wayside, and I would say; now I have a happy medium.
It is good to know how many toxins are in every thing we use, from health and beauty, to cleaning, and of course food. Now we can even get hold of preservative free Vodka and Wine! Become aware of the things you may want to change, and try to minimize toxins where you can.
Medicating. There are so many great supplements, vitamins, homeopathic, minerals...the list goes on. I would never recommend buying everything every one tells you, it is expensive, and can never be up kept. I have cut down greatly. Some were doing the same job, some were unnecessary and of course some have made a huge difference.
I think the best thing I have done is find a female Doctor/Naturopath (luckily for me she is just across the road-thank you Universe!) She specializes in issues of women’s fatigue and hormone imbalances. She is able to give me the best advice from both medical and natural science, I think this is important. No one way is the right or wrong way, when dealing with something as life altering as fatigue. Take on board what every one says, and use what works for you.
But if you do suffer from severe fatigue, do see someone, and do take something...there is a better kind of normal.
My 3 favorite things, Water, Green Tea, and a Slow Cooker!
I have been drinking a litre of water as soon as I wake up, quickly, on an empty stomach for 15 months now, and I know it has become a life habit.
It will help you with many complaints, constipation, extra weight, aches and pains and most importantly, hydrate you. I prefer filtered water; there is really no point in downing a litre if it is full of chemicals and toxins. It has to be room temperature or warm, not cold. Try it, after a month you will see the benefits...you will be going to the bathroom a lot too. I also try and drink another 1 to 2 litres of water during the day, a little harder in winter, but I do the best I can. We forget that water is the elixir of life, our bodies are over 90 per cent water, if we are thirsty, we are tired. The first signs of dehydration can present themselves as hunger...so drink! Your body will say thank you!
Green Tea- Chronic stress and toxic substances weaken our immune system, allowing viruses in our body to adversely affect us. Many studies have shown that green tea can slow down viral growth and improve the immune system. When the immune system functions well it keeps the viruses under control and we remain healthy, feel better...less tired! Another little bonus, the caffeine in Green Tea is linked to tannic acid, and causes a mild but lasting reduction in fatigue. Green Tea is full of antioxidants, and that’s a good thing for our bodies, on all levels.
I personally find that green tea cleanses my palate after a meal; I have read that it aids with digestion and metabolism, and I believe it helps with maintaining a healthy weight. I like to have one after every meal.
Slow Cooker- find ways that make everyday jobs quick and easy, simplifying life will give you a break. For me it is the slow cooker, dinner is on first thing in the morning, the food is healthy, and my “no meat eater” likes it, as does my” no veggie eater”! Something to be said for that! Simple. Find something that works for you.
Whether it is a rest, a nap or meditating; when you can, take some time for yourself. I am a big fan of the nap! A study on a comparison of 3 people who had not slept for a night confirmed this. One stayed awake all the next day, one slept for an hour and one had a 20 minute nap. Then they completed a series of tests, the 20 minute napper came out on top. 20 minutes is enough time to refresh you, however an hour crosses over into the next sleep phase, and when woken disrupts the cycle again, so you remain exhausted.
Lie down, set your inner alarm, and give yourself a 20 minute power nap. Most of us can manage this (I have even done it in lunch breaks!)
Most importantly give your fatigue space, accept it, and give yourself a break. If you are constantly getting around with the mantra, “gees I’m tired, I’m so tired, godamn I’m tired” and remind yourself (and everyone around you!) that you are really tired, what do you expect to feel!
Give it space, think about it, feel it, accept it is there, ask yourself, will I survive this, will I get through this, yes you will, move on and get on with your day. You will find when you stop obsessing about it, and have accepted it, you will not feel as tired...amazing! (And it works!)
Be a friend to yourself, stop requiring perfection. Break down tasks into smaller more manageable lots and don’t sweat the small stuff.
We have to be gentle to ourselves. We have to accept how we feel, allow it, and stop making it our enemy. We have to listen to what our body is asking for, nourishment, hydration, rest, help. Be aware.
Be kind to you, love you...you’re worth it.
suzy x
I struggled along with it like many, many of you do. I heard the comments coming from all of you, I’m sooo tired, I’m bushed, I’m worn out...I remember my sister answering my “I’m so tired”, with “I’ve been tired since the day I left the hospital with my first child”. So I continued on, thinking everybody feels like this, just get on with it, in the typical woman’s way, what else was I to do?
About 2 years ago it became obvious what I was dealing with was more severe than I had realized. When both my mother and sister pointed out to me that yes, we girls do get tired, but it wasn’t quite so normal for me to be going to bed with the kids, exhausted at 7pm. Getting up after 10 hours sleep- exhausted. Having a glass of wine to prop myself up enough to be bothered talking to anyone, sleeping during the day, and just really struggling with my tiredness.
I started looking into it, getting treatments from various alternative practitioners, and getting the same explanation, my body was exhausted and stressed, but not really any answers. Then a naturopath finally said it...you have chronic fatigue. After spending almost $1000 on the visit, tests and medications that day, I left her office miserable (and broke), sat in my car and cried my eyes out.
The last 18 months I have really researched this thing called chronic fatigue. It is something which the medical guys don’t have an answer for; it has only been described by American scientists as recently as 1988. I have dealt with physical pain issues for 20 years, I am experienced enough to know you have to look around to find what works for you with any type of treatment. I am going to share with you, some of the stuff that has worked for me.
Firstly, a few of my thoughts on fatigue. I feel it comes from many sources, chronic pain is a definite one for me, the hangover of having infants- it takes a long time to catch up on all that missed sleep, stress, attempting to do it all . I also think the toxins we are taking in every day, in every way, are a part of it too. I feel its hit and miss, we all feel different levels. For some it is chronic fatigue, and other’s the general constant tiredness one feels.
So, my tips are-
When I was first diagnosed, I went on the, “spending loads, altering me, and freaking out frenzy” that one does. I tried to cut out as many toxins as possible; I bought all my make up, skin products and hair dye from the Health Food shop. I still try and use a fair amount of these, but the ones I didn’t like went by the wayside, and I would say; now I have a happy medium.
It is good to know how many toxins are in every thing we use, from health and beauty, to cleaning, and of course food. Now we can even get hold of preservative free Vodka and Wine! Become aware of the things you may want to change, and try to minimize toxins where you can.
Medicating. There are so many great supplements, vitamins, homeopathic, minerals...the list goes on. I would never recommend buying everything every one tells you, it is expensive, and can never be up kept. I have cut down greatly. Some were doing the same job, some were unnecessary and of course some have made a huge difference.
I think the best thing I have done is find a female Doctor/Naturopath (luckily for me she is just across the road-thank you Universe!) She specializes in issues of women’s fatigue and hormone imbalances. She is able to give me the best advice from both medical and natural science, I think this is important. No one way is the right or wrong way, when dealing with something as life altering as fatigue. Take on board what every one says, and use what works for you.
But if you do suffer from severe fatigue, do see someone, and do take something...there is a better kind of normal.
My 3 favorite things, Water, Green Tea, and a Slow Cooker!
I have been drinking a litre of water as soon as I wake up, quickly, on an empty stomach for 15 months now, and I know it has become a life habit.
It will help you with many complaints, constipation, extra weight, aches and pains and most importantly, hydrate you. I prefer filtered water; there is really no point in downing a litre if it is full of chemicals and toxins. It has to be room temperature or warm, not cold. Try it, after a month you will see the benefits...you will be going to the bathroom a lot too. I also try and drink another 1 to 2 litres of water during the day, a little harder in winter, but I do the best I can. We forget that water is the elixir of life, our bodies are over 90 per cent water, if we are thirsty, we are tired. The first signs of dehydration can present themselves as hunger...so drink! Your body will say thank you!
Green Tea- Chronic stress and toxic substances weaken our immune system, allowing viruses in our body to adversely affect us. Many studies have shown that green tea can slow down viral growth and improve the immune system. When the immune system functions well it keeps the viruses under control and we remain healthy, feel better...less tired! Another little bonus, the caffeine in Green Tea is linked to tannic acid, and causes a mild but lasting reduction in fatigue. Green Tea is full of antioxidants, and that’s a good thing for our bodies, on all levels.
I personally find that green tea cleanses my palate after a meal; I have read that it aids with digestion and metabolism, and I believe it helps with maintaining a healthy weight. I like to have one after every meal.
Slow Cooker- find ways that make everyday jobs quick and easy, simplifying life will give you a break. For me it is the slow cooker, dinner is on first thing in the morning, the food is healthy, and my “no meat eater” likes it, as does my” no veggie eater”! Something to be said for that! Simple. Find something that works for you.
Whether it is a rest, a nap or meditating; when you can, take some time for yourself. I am a big fan of the nap! A study on a comparison of 3 people who had not slept for a night confirmed this. One stayed awake all the next day, one slept for an hour and one had a 20 minute nap. Then they completed a series of tests, the 20 minute napper came out on top. 20 minutes is enough time to refresh you, however an hour crosses over into the next sleep phase, and when woken disrupts the cycle again, so you remain exhausted.
Lie down, set your inner alarm, and give yourself a 20 minute power nap. Most of us can manage this (I have even done it in lunch breaks!)
Most importantly give your fatigue space, accept it, and give yourself a break. If you are constantly getting around with the mantra, “gees I’m tired, I’m so tired, godamn I’m tired” and remind yourself (and everyone around you!) that you are really tired, what do you expect to feel!
Give it space, think about it, feel it, accept it is there, ask yourself, will I survive this, will I get through this, yes you will, move on and get on with your day. You will find when you stop obsessing about it, and have accepted it, you will not feel as tired...amazing! (And it works!)
Be a friend to yourself, stop requiring perfection. Break down tasks into smaller more manageable lots and don’t sweat the small stuff.
We have to be gentle to ourselves. We have to accept how we feel, allow it, and stop making it our enemy. We have to listen to what our body is asking for, nourishment, hydration, rest, help. Be aware.
Be kind to you, love you...you’re worth it.
suzy x
Thursday, June 11, 2009
A Treat a day, keeps the Stress away
Have you ever noticed how often we answer the question “how are you?”, with a “Great thanks...busy”. We are all so busy all the time. There are always things we “should” be doing. I should get the housework done today, should get the breakfast dishes cleaned up before I take the kids to school, should go down to the shops, rather than take a walk, should do this, should do that.
Maybe what we should do is take a look at our “should list”, and see how important this stuff really is. Maybe what we should be doing is spring-cleaning our list. Maybe some of our should list is outdated these days; like ironing is for me, which I think has always been not only out dated, but also over rated, I buy crumple free clothes! I also know housework, dishes, chores, will always (unfortunately) wait for me, and still be there when I decide to do them. I have never had too much difficulty in closing the door on these should do’s and going off to do something I want to do. Of course, if housework is your “thing” then that is what you want to do, as you enjoy it, so it is not really on your should list but on your want list...you know who you are!
I don’t think I have ever walked into the home of a friend with children, looked around in shock, and thought “good goddess!” this place is an absolute pigsty!
Of course I see things, dishes on the sink, toys on the floor, and also it is very likely the friend will say something like, “excuse the mess, you know how it is”... and then you both get on with the business of catching up and enjoying each other’s company.
I know that when I am 105 years old, taking a moment and looking back over my life, having my home absolutely immaculate when the children were small, will not be high on my list of priorities or great accomplishments! I am a busy woman, the things I should be doing are enjoying my life, enjoying my family, enjoying my friends. The things I have to do will wait, and no-one I care about is judging me on when I get them done!
The other day I was between one room and another, tidying up, putting washing away; something totally mundane and un-urgent, when I saw a large shaft of sunlight across my bedroom floor. It looked so inviting, our winter is here and it was a bit on the chilly side that morning. I put down whatever I was doing and decided to lie in the sunlight for 5 minutes and do some deep breathing, clear my mind for just those few minutes. I’m not the best at meditation, I start off with great intentions, get my breathing going. I am usually able to push the thoughts along and clear my mind, then I try to pretend that I am not moving into a more comfortable position, extremely like a napping position, then I promptly doze off. So I try to keep meditations short! Taking these 5 minutes to clear my mind, concentrate on my breath, revitalizes me. Gives my body and mind a break from the usual, ordinary and daily stuff. It takes no time to take a momentary break and kick start your self.
It is essential to use any spare moments you can find, here and there, to quieten your mind (even 1 minute for the extra busy people!) let the thoughts roll away, take deep breaths, relax yourself for just a moment, be kind to you...then get back into it. I can highly recommend doing this in a patch of sunlight at this time of year, very warm and cosy, with a nice dose of Vitamin D thrown in!
Surely all of us deserve to treat ourselves this way every day.
suzy x
Maybe what we should do is take a look at our “should list”, and see how important this stuff really is. Maybe what we should be doing is spring-cleaning our list. Maybe some of our should list is outdated these days; like ironing is for me, which I think has always been not only out dated, but also over rated, I buy crumple free clothes! I also know housework, dishes, chores, will always (unfortunately) wait for me, and still be there when I decide to do them. I have never had too much difficulty in closing the door on these should do’s and going off to do something I want to do. Of course, if housework is your “thing” then that is what you want to do, as you enjoy it, so it is not really on your should list but on your want list...you know who you are!
I don’t think I have ever walked into the home of a friend with children, looked around in shock, and thought “good goddess!” this place is an absolute pigsty!
Of course I see things, dishes on the sink, toys on the floor, and also it is very likely the friend will say something like, “excuse the mess, you know how it is”... and then you both get on with the business of catching up and enjoying each other’s company.
I know that when I am 105 years old, taking a moment and looking back over my life, having my home absolutely immaculate when the children were small, will not be high on my list of priorities or great accomplishments! I am a busy woman, the things I should be doing are enjoying my life, enjoying my family, enjoying my friends. The things I have to do will wait, and no-one I care about is judging me on when I get them done!
The other day I was between one room and another, tidying up, putting washing away; something totally mundane and un-urgent, when I saw a large shaft of sunlight across my bedroom floor. It looked so inviting, our winter is here and it was a bit on the chilly side that morning. I put down whatever I was doing and decided to lie in the sunlight for 5 minutes and do some deep breathing, clear my mind for just those few minutes. I’m not the best at meditation, I start off with great intentions, get my breathing going. I am usually able to push the thoughts along and clear my mind, then I try to pretend that I am not moving into a more comfortable position, extremely like a napping position, then I promptly doze off. So I try to keep meditations short! Taking these 5 minutes to clear my mind, concentrate on my breath, revitalizes me. Gives my body and mind a break from the usual, ordinary and daily stuff. It takes no time to take a momentary break and kick start your self.
It is essential to use any spare moments you can find, here and there, to quieten your mind (even 1 minute for the extra busy people!) let the thoughts roll away, take deep breaths, relax yourself for just a moment, be kind to you...then get back into it. I can highly recommend doing this in a patch of sunlight at this time of year, very warm and cosy, with a nice dose of Vitamin D thrown in!
Surely all of us deserve to treat ourselves this way every day.
suzy x
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Would you like a Smile with that?
I have a new thing I’ve been doing for a while now; it’s reverse-customer service
Whenever I am being “served” by someone, say, in the supermarket or the petrol station, wherever, I make a point of greeting the person behind the counter in a truly genuine way, looking at them directly, smiling and actually interacting with them, catching them at the end with a comment, like, “you have a great weekend!”, and taking the time to mean it. The difference it makes to the “service” I receive is phenomenal!
Whenever I am being “served” by someone, say, in the supermarket or the petrol station, wherever, I make a point of greeting the person behind the counter in a truly genuine way, looking at them directly, smiling and actually interacting with them, catching them at the end with a comment, like, “you have a great weekend!”, and taking the time to mean it. The difference it makes to the “service” I receive is phenomenal!
The difference it makes to me is phenomenal; I seem to walk out of there, with a lighter step, and a bigger smile on my face. Because I am not just being served, I am interacting on a personal level with this person. When I do this; it gives me a long feeling of satisfaction, which I definitely don’t get when I am totally in my own world and focusing on my own needs and wants. I have connected with that person, rather than rushing through the process; of them serving me, me not noticing them, me having much more important stuff on my mind!
When Eckhart Tolle talks of this, he says we are acknowledging they are human beings, our common humanity. Nice.
I have a friend who refers to this as “Brownie Points”. He takes it as far as picking up litter when he sees it. If he doesn’t like the look of the rubbish, than neither do you or I, or even the birds in the sky (as he puts it!) He gets a kick out of randomly saying to someone, “hey, that shirt looks great on you!”, can you imagine what an unexpected compliment like that does for someone! What it also can do for you! Imagine if every time you earned a “brownie point” your “karma’, your soul, or even just your day for that moment, became better.
I read once that the pursuit of happiness cannot make us any worse off, only improve things for us, how true! I think it works perfectly in this practice, we get something from giving to others; it makes us happier. Maybe we’ve even earned “brownie points”- so, it can’t hurt!
Maybe this week, I will finally get that grumpy lady at the newsagent to smile, or I will make a comment to someone at the petrol station and they will go home and look in the mirror and think, “I love this shirt!’ I do know if I keep this up, I will continue getting great customer service, a lot more smiles, and have an overall happy feeling. It’s all good!
I have a friend who refers to this as “Brownie Points”. He takes it as far as picking up litter when he sees it. If he doesn’t like the look of the rubbish, than neither do you or I, or even the birds in the sky (as he puts it!) He gets a kick out of randomly saying to someone, “hey, that shirt looks great on you!”, can you imagine what an unexpected compliment like that does for someone! What it also can do for you! Imagine if every time you earned a “brownie point” your “karma’, your soul, or even just your day for that moment, became better.
I read once that the pursuit of happiness cannot make us any worse off, only improve things for us, how true! I think it works perfectly in this practice, we get something from giving to others; it makes us happier. Maybe we’ve even earned “brownie points”- so, it can’t hurt!
Maybe this week, I will finally get that grumpy lady at the newsagent to smile, or I will make a comment to someone at the petrol station and they will go home and look in the mirror and think, “I love this shirt!’ I do know if I keep this up, I will continue getting great customer service, a lot more smiles, and have an overall happy feeling. It’s all good!
suzy x
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