The Joy of being 40

I have often joked that if I knew how it felt to be 40 years old, I would have done it 15 years ago!

I love being on the “grown up” journey, when you start to truly understand yourself and recognize the things you “need”.

I look at the friends and family in my life, and I know that over the last few years the people around me have become a supportive and loving assemblage. Gone are the days of younger years- comparing, “bitching” and judging. I like to think my “friendship tree” has been pruned down to the essentials. Sometimes you just got to cut some branches off. Age has bought the realisation that I am better off to share my time with people who offer positive aspects to my life.

I am able to feel responsible for my own state of being; I don’t rely on others to produce happiness for me. I get through painful and hurtful times, by remembering it is only my take on someone’s actions that brings pain and hurt into my life.

I feel old enough to be able to be comfortable with who I am.

I don’t need to carry life’s burdens. I look for ways to understand them, accept them, and grow from them. I can always find a positive outlook on these situations…there is always something good that comes from these times.

I no longer expect to be with my soul mate, in fact I believe in soul mates about as much as I do a happy Hollywood ending. I am married to a man though, that I recognize love in most all of his actions. And I do know that when I am 80 years old sitting back and sipping a cider (though I don’t drink cider now it feels it might be an appropriate tipple at 80!)…It’s his hand I want to be holding.

My work ethic has changed. All about me has a different meaning to the “all about me” of my youth. All about me means that I do the best I can do, in the best way I can. I do not let myself be held to other people’s expectations, as I securely know I have done the best I can.

I am also in the process of altering my career, to something I feel more attuned to. My new path is about what I want to be doing, and what I know will give me immense fulfilment, it fills a long held desire of what I feel is my “true calling”. It is a change that will not only benefit myself, but my family. I am so very excited by this change, and it brings me so much joy to be planning it out. I have pondered over this for many years, not being able to quite put my finger on exactly “what” it was that I wanted to do. Not have I only been able to realise it, but I may be able to even blend it into my current work life, merging the two together, until a new path becomes the way.

I have a stronger understanding of my own opinions now, and yet, I also have a greater acceptance of others opinions. I do not need for everyone to agree with me. I enjoy hearing other’s beliefs and thoughts, learning from them, taking the bits that make a fit with mine, even changing how I originally felt about something, always growing stronger in the heart of my belief system.

I trust my own judgement more than I ever did, yet am able to accept that I can make errors, and I am able to forgive myself for these.

I am more patient. I am able to sit and wait things out, or just accept what I cannot change.

I don’t need other’s approval. My relationship with myself gets stronger and healthier with every birthday. All I need is my approval, based on my knowledge of that what I am doing is right for myself and for those around me.

I have learnt to be grateful. I have learnt how to have gratitude in my life. I am grateful for things that never would have crossed my mind at 25!

And best of all I get to enjoy more grown up things like a fabulous new blend of green tea, my women’s group, making healthy choices over partying lifestyle and being a kinder person.

I love this beautiful aging process, and it is amazing to realise I am only half way through it! I am looking forward to each decade. For the knowledge it brings, the contentment…the shift in consciousness.

So much to look forward to in this beautiful life.

suzy x